The question on everybody's mind...

Regardless of the vote, 'Cube Farm' will probably be around for a couple months, but I welcome your suggestions for the long term. Vote here and add your comments below if you have more to say.

What should happen to 'Cube Farm' now?
	Keep it as/is and add funny office stories on occasion.
	Let it sit on the off-hand chance that someone from the company might stumble by it some day and learn something about themselves.
	Turn it into a full site where everybody can add stories.
	Therapy's over. Be smart enough to know when to shut it down.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Deathclock

It has come up in discussion many times that this company can't possibly last beyond two years. However, since I can't believe how it manages to slide through this year, I'm going to add a year for "benefit of the doubt." Only time will tell. Maybe we should start a pool or something

New Links

I just added Clientcopia and Despair, Inc. to the links. I'm not sure why I never did before. They're both killer-funny work-related sites.

The Skit

I really have them over a barrel on this one. Hopefully they learn something about treating people how you want to be treated from this, but I doubt they can think that deep. You know how when you had that first restaurant job in high school, they treated you crappily and you and your coworkers all talked about quitting at the same time because they'd be screwed? You remember how it totally didn't work out that way? Instead, one person left and na-na-na-na-life went on. This is like a one-man version of that plot, but I'm actually going to make it work.

They're supposed to load new products on the Web site next week, which means HOURS of technical work that E won' be able to do. It's not his fault, it's not what he was hired for, but the fact remains. Plus there are scores of other technical issues that he won't be handling. Plus, there's a consultant in the place meeting with various groups of people throughout the week, which means everything is already lagging behind schedule. Beyond that, two days is just not enough time to document everything I do. I'm not saying they'll die without me, but there are certainly some things that are going to be set back indefinitely.

So I totally left a one-line letter of resignation in Franz's mailbox this morning and signed it "Good Luck." I thought about going in to talk to him directly, but (A) I didn't feel like it and (B) SCREW HIM, let him come to me. Around 10:30, he did.

"What's this?" he asked angrily, holding the letter out to me.

"I'm out"

"Two days?" [My notice. I've never left a job on short notice before. I gave these guys 'til Friday. Hehe.]

"What would you like?" [mind you, at this point I would have let him talk me into staying as late as Wednesday next week. I had already discussed it with the new job and they were cool with it.]

"Two weeks...?"

"No," I chuckled a little as I said it.

He huffed and walked into the server room and showed the letter to John who made a defeated shrug that said "I didn't need this, but I can't really be surprised any time someone leaves this place" and handed the letter back to Franz. Franz walked back to me.

"I thought you were doing good here." [He meant, "I thought you were happy." I acted like he was talking about my performance.]

"You were right. Best you ever had." [Nothing personal, Mike, just talkin' smack.]

"So why the short warning?"

"Because there's no. doubt. in. my. mind that if the situation was reversed, and you wanted to get rid of me, you'd give me less than 2 hours' warning."

"What makes you say that?"

"Come on, Franz, you know how things are done here as well as I do."

** silence that would have been uncomfortable if I didn't feel so good **

"Well, I guess you better document as much as you can before you go."

"I already started."

He turned and walked away in the same huff he came in.

Sweet. And by 'sweet,' I mean 'totally cool!'

Confirmation!

So that's the deal. They love me, I love them, and they worked with me on salary. It's perfect. PLUS I'm going to be on a Mac again -- a new box with a studio display monitor. PLUS I'm going to get to do more design work, which I've been missing for a long time. PLUS it's the most "professional" company I've been in since my internship. PLUS I get a 50% discount on the very nice clothing they sell -- I may grow up yet! (okay, not yet...but the clothes are there when I get to grey to fake it anymore)

*joyful sigh*

There was some tension this morning. They asked me for samples of the stuff I've been doing lately, which made me think they were having second thoughts. Plus I didn't actually get the call until I was on my way home, which made for an unsure day. But in the end all was well. They wanted to see the samples to see what kind of stuff I have been working on recently so they can compare it to what they want me to do. The day dragged out because there were e-mail difficulties getting them the samples.

Ahhhhhhhh. I feel like I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I'd been checking out for a while and she's accepted and admitted she's been checking me out for a while too. Thanks to you all for being so supportive! I seriously have the best friends ever!

And now a word from a future business partner...

I haven't spoken (with voice) with Dennis for months. When I checked my cell phone for messages on Sunday morning, there was this. This is why I love my friends so much.

It may not really be related to anything else here, but it talks about business, and it's damn funny.

A good read

Signs to Run

Referred by Erin. Thanks for the tip!

Helen Keller

"The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker."


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Quote taken from http://www.charityfocus.org/programs/qad/

Well, at least someone can see this place for the crime organization it is...

PayPal froze our account the other day from ALL activity until we rectify all of our NUMEROUS current buyer complaints for non-delivery and other fun stuff. The funny thing is, since PayPal is listed as the primary payment method on all of our eBay listings, all of the active listings are useless, and we can't list anything new without removing PayPal. I don't know what you know about eBay, but trying to sell there without PayPal is somewhat like selling in Zambia but only accepting Chilean beaver pelts as currency.

Before last week, we were averaging $1,200-$1,800 per day on eBay, or about $.3 million per year. This weekend, we have taken in $12.98.

. o O ( I wish written words could convey spiteful laughter )

I can't even tell you how many times I've warned them not to screw with online customers. I only wish I could see it two weeks from now when they get banned from Amazon and lose a full third of their revenue.

Unknown

“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us”

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Quote courtesy of http://en.thinkexist.com/search/searchquotation.asp?search=work

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave

So we got a memo two Wednesdays ago. When I read it, I was so pissed that I steamed about it all the way through my hour-long commute, and I very rarely bring work issues home with me. Karen brought it to our attention. It had been delivered to our mailboxes sometime after 4:00 PM, seemingly intended to be snuck in under our noses.

What was it? An addendum to the vacation policy and a note to sign and return acknowledging that we have received the addendum. It's not fair to ask you to judge the policy revision without knowing the existing policy. Basically, the policy that I agreed to work under gives you almost nothing for your first 90 probationary days. After that, you begin accruing time until you come to the end of the calendar year. At that point, it works out like this: you have to accrue the time, but it works out to 10 vacation days, 5 sick days, and 3 personal days. 18 total days, if you're one of those people who takes their sick days as vacation. Personally, I'm not normally, but it's nice to know I have them if I need them and that I can take them without cutting into my actual vacation. This is how the time off works for your first five years, then you get 15 vacation days. Then, who knows? There's only like 8 people in the building that have more than 5 years, and 5 of those are the president and VPs.

The new proposal went something like this. It seemed unnecessary to management to separate the time off into categories. So they propose that we have "all-purpose" days now, and that we have 12 of them. "All-purpose" days? That sounds cool. Sounds like we can use them more flexibly than vaca...wait a minute. Twelve? We had eighteen, and now we have TWELVE? And nobody mentioned this to us, nobody said anything about the company needing extra help, nobody cuonsulted us on any of this. We're not in trouble; we're not being punished -- what the hell is going on?

I refused to sign the paper, as most of us did, and I made it clear that I intended to talk to one of the John in the morning and ask him what the hell the deal was. So Thursday, Rochelle and I cornered him in Rochelle's office and asked what was going on. John said he didn't think it applied to us, and we informed him that, from the communication we were given, there was no reason not to think it appled to all of us. He said he'd check into it and let us know. Friday morning there were whispers that it was to apply only to peole who were not past their probationary period as of 1/1/06. This meant that only E and Rob, the new IT guy, were going to be affected in our little area, but that was still unfair since they were hired under the old terms. Not that it mattered what was whispered anyway, because it was not documented anywhere, and I was assuming that the upper management was going to operate under the new terms unless I held some kind of signed paper. I tossed the memo in the trash and decided I would not sign it until they revised it.

Nothing else was said until Friday morning when we received an e-mail that said we had to turn in the signed paper that acknowledged receipt of the memo by the end of the day. It also said what had been whispered before, so that most of us would be okay but E and Rob were still screwed. It said that if we failed to turn in a signed copy by the end of the day, we would not be granted any vacation in 2006. I had to jump out for my second interview that afternoon, so I wrote in my objections, signed the paper (a new copy I had to get from Carly since I had ditched mine), and turned it in.

Rochelle had asked for a formally revised version to sign and got this in return. This is a straight copy-and-paste. Only the names and the portions in brackets have been changed, the over-capitalization and less-than-perfect grammar are all Matt's:

From: Matt Walker
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2006 2:43 PM
To: Rochelle Fitsimmons
Cc: Bill Tyler; Rod Tyler; John Farson; Carly Wymer; Franz Richards
Subject: RE: Accrued time off Policy

DEAR ROCHELLE,

[The company] HAS THE LEGAL RIGHT TO CHANGE IT'S TIME OFF SCHEDULE ANYTIME SENIOR MANAGEMENT FEELS IT IS NECESSARY TO ACHIEVING THE COMPANY'S GOALS AND OBJECTIVES. THE FACT THAT YOU AND OTHERS ARE BEING AFFORDED THE ABILITY TO REMAIN ON YOUR EXISTING TIME OFF LEVEL IS STRICTLY A COURTESY. IT IS NEITHER A POLICY NOR OBLIGATION OF [the company], NOR WILL IT BE WRITTEN INTO THE HANDBOOK.

THE FACT THAT CARLY IS ASKING YOU TO SIGN OFF THAT YOU ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THE NEW POLICY ON BEHALF OF THE COMPANY IS SOLELY THAT, ONLY THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED THE NEW COMPANY POLICY. IT IS NOT FOR YOU AND OTHER EMPLOYEE TO APPROVE OR DISAPPROVE OF COMPANY POLICY.

THERE ARE 3 LEVELS TO THE TIME OFF SCHEDULE AFTER AN EMPLOYEE HAS MADE IT THROUGH THEIR PROBATIONARY PERIOD. LEVEL I "1,2 YEARS" LEVEL II "3,4,5,6 YEARS" LEVEL III "7 YEARS AND ABOVE"

IF I CAN BE OF FURTHER ASSISTANCE, PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO CONTACT ME.

BEST,
MATT

I love it. Not only did Matt just send everybody a big "F YOU!" but he made me realize that, even though I had been courteously moved to level two so that my time off wouldn't change, it was still going to be six years before I could look forward to having any more.

Do these guys know how to manage people or what? Man, I was going to take that job offer elsewhere, but then I'd be missing out on this Orwellian theme park and all it has to offer. "You're taking my vacation away? AND you want me to stay late to help make deadlines that are really just dates you pulled out of the air for no reason? Sure! Can I do it without food too? And will you leat me sleep here in a 4x8 room with a straw mat and a basin for a toilet? You've got yourself a worker!!"

Holy crap eating Tinkerbell! Are you for real? I mean, I know I'm not due to win "Most Modest Guy of the Year" any time soon, but I'm the first to admit that I don't know everything. However, I guarantee, given a similar company and similar circumstances to control, I could have a shop turning out twice the revenue in six months. Half of making that happen would only require the difference in morale between working for me and working for these ass-clowns. Unbelievable. If these jokers have any shred of conscience, they must whack their heads off their bathroom sinks ten times every morning just to numb that shred into silence so they can be just as stupid and thoughtless as possible without worry of any pang of guilt.

Albert Einstein

“In my experience, the best creative work is never done when one is unhappy.”

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Quote courtesy of http://en.thinkexist.com/search/searchquotation.asp?search=work

Fish Story 2

So I called Wednesday afternoon and said "I'm not trying to bargain with you or anything. I just wanted to let you know that I went over the figures with my wife last night, and we just don't think we can make a switch for what you can offer. So I figured it was best to let you know today so you could continue interviewing and not waste your time with me on Friday." I told her I was going to be jealous of whoever did get the position because it was as close to the perfect situation as I dared imagine. I explained how we were considering making it work anyway, that the decision wasn't based mainly on money, but how I had decided in the end that it was a big difference in pay and even if it meant me being disappointed, I had to do what was best for my family.

She said she understood what it meant to make those decisions, that she was the higher income in her family too. She asked me to remind her what number I was at now, and what her offer had been. I gave her the info and she said to let her see what she could do. So we hung up, and I was a little nervous because I didn't want this to be a negotiation. What they were offering was very fair for what they needed, it just didn't compare to what I was getting being Satan's lackey.

She called back within 5 minutes to say that she would be able to raise her offer $2k. Really, it wasn't much in terms of the whole, but it was AMAZING insofar as it was a great gesture that they were really interested in me as much as I was in them. I had laid all my cards on the table. They knew the job they were offering me was worlds better than what I had, and they still took a step further in my direction to make it easier for me.

I told her that I would have to talk to my wife, but that if she didn't hear from me early Thursday Morning, she could expect to see me on Friday afternoon. My wife reminded me, yet again, why I love her so much and just said, "I think you need to take this," when I updated her on the situation.

I didn't call Thursday morning.

I made an excuse to not be at work Friday afternoon. I outright lied, actually, which is so against my nature that it really says something about how little respect those above me inspire. I feel "bad" about doing it, but I don't even vaguely feel "wrong," and that's what's important.

I had a pleasant chat with the CFO. I got to meet the other people I would be working with, and they got to ask me questions. I got a tour of the facility. I was treated with the same awesome feeling from beginning to end, and they told me they would be calling with the "official" offer on Tuesday. I guess this means they might actually be off for MLK-Day on Monday, which could mean they get banker's holidays off, which would be AWESOME.

So I owe you an apology for not giving you the whole story sooner. Some of it was theatrics, some was me being cautious not to give myself over to that much hope that quickly, but now you know. And Tuesday we all get the final answer. Stay tuned.

Unknown

“Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”

UPDATE: Bills to pay

I just wanted to let you know how this all ended up. Vicki's husband didn't come in. There was, however, extended conversation at lunch about how fun it would be for hime to come in with a folding chair and just sit by Rod's car until he wanted to come out for lunch. Rod, being the terrified-of-confrontation-wuss that he is would get to the front door, see the guy, and do one of two things.

1. Pausing at the glass door, looking at the large man seated near his car, he'd begin to tremble like an epileptic chiuaua caught in a paint can shaker. Then he would wet himself, turn around and ask the receptionist to call Lou so Lou could go out and ask the man to leave. Vicki's husband would refuse to leave and tell Lou why. Lou would relay the message to Rod. Vicki's husband would be driving away with a check in under 10 minutes.

2. Pausing at the glass door, looking at the large man seated near his car, he'd begin to tremble like a hyperkinetic three-year-old after an espresso and a freezer bag full of Runtz candies. Then he would wet himself, turn around and ask the receptionist to call the police. The police would come, ask Vicki's man what he was doing, and then come to the building checking the story. Within 8 minutes, the cop would walk back out, check-in-hand, and ask the oversized mechanic to be on his way

Win-win. But it didn't happen.

. o O ( stupid absence of poetic justice )

Anyway, the day after the last post, Karen asked Rochelle what the deal was...AGAIN. Rochelle talked to John. John said he would check. That afternoon, still nothing heard, Karen asked Rochelle what the deal was...AGAIN. Rochelle talked to John. John said he would check. Day ends. Friday begins. Karen asked Rochelle what the deal was...AGAIN. Rochelle talked to John. John said he would check, but this time Rochelle told him to stop dicking around and made it plain that she intended to be an utter bitch until it was worked out. John actually checked this time, and found that the checks never went for some BS reason or another. Karen had one by the end of the day for her husband. Supposedly the rest were going to be mailed out that day too.

This place is amazing.

Albert Einstein

“If A equal success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut”



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Quote courtesy of http://en.thinkexist.com/search/searchquotation.asp?search=work

Snubbed by Peons

Bill came over yesterday morning and said, "good morning." Neither E, nor I turned around. We both answered, but _very_ half-heartedly. Bill paused a moment, then turned and walked away. I almost laughed out loud at the whole thing because it was spontaneously synced between E and I. Geez, poor guy's only been there since mid-November.

So now I'm thinking a memo's going to be going around -- not unlike the one that circulated after the great corn-burning of 2004 -- instructing us to follow another meaningless edict. "You must audibly anunciate the words 'good morning' after being addressed in kind by any member of the company with more seniority," it will say. And this will be the one that ushers in a new era of joy and peace unlike any seen by any office in America. Nay - The World! Yes! The clouds will part, the rays of sun will awaken our sensitive eyes and complexions (from being in the dungeons all the time), and we will finally see that total submission to idiots is the answer to every woe.

I better stop before the Republican party tries to recruit me.

Fish Story

You remember the ooooooooooold episode of the Simpsons where Homer has the best job in the world at the bowling alley, but he gives it up to go work at the power plant because it's for the good of his family? That's what leaving carpentry was for me. I still maintain that it was the absolute right choice. And, to be fair to my current occupation, I have learned a few things I didn't know before, and the money is arguably better than where I was. But the fact remains that it was the happiest I have been in a work situation since my college internship.

Anyway, I had an interview for another job today, and I know everyone wants to know how it went. Well, everyone who reads my ramblings anyway. Except the people that are eating dinner, or curing cancer, or trapped under something heavy. But everyone else is waiting and trembling with anicipation to know how it went.

I have never had an interview go so well. Ever. By the time I was leaving, I was asking them details about the 401k plan as if I already had the job, and they were writing them down because -- though nothing "official" was said -- they did ask me back for a second interview, and they did say that they weren't really interested in doing any more interviews. They were so nice, and we laughed and talked more like friends than people dealing on opposite sides of an interview. Every time I asked a question, it was answered honestly and in exactly the way I would have wanted -- seriously, I couldn't have scripted the whole thing better.

So I told my wife, and my wife's mother, and my son, and they were all very happy for my great experience and they were all very encouraging, and we're all agreed that I should absolutlely take it.

Except...

Except that there's a substantial pay drop involved. Some of it you can argue with saved money on the commute, some you can write off as sanity insurance with no second thought. But we're still talking about a big drop. Anybody who knows me, knows that money doesn't concern me. If I have it, I'm happy to share it. If I don't, I just don't do things that require it. No big deal. But with a family, it's a whole new world. There are two other people's lives in the balance. The decisions aren't as easy as "do without." I don't want to ever see either of them suffer from want, and I would walk on glass for a living to see that never happen.

So, I feel Like Andy Dufresne after clibming out of the sewer. I feel vindicated, and I feel like there really is a business out there that isn't immoral and that doesn't want to rule its employees with an iron fist. I have peaked the mountain of jungle misery and glimpsed the gleaming temple in the valley.

But this time Andy climbs back into the hole because he knows he can't leave without Red. This time the natives catch up and drag me back from the crest. This one was big, but it's getting away. I'll call tomorrow and tell them not to worry about the 2nd meeting on Friday. They may try to counter-offer, then we may have more to think about. But really, they won't counter enough, so I'm going to let it go now.

But I have tasted freedom, and I want more.

Laura Scher

Don't check your values at the door when you go to work.

David O. McKay

"Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success."

Perhaps I am about to succeed. I have a job interview Tuesday, keep your fingers crossed.

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Quote courtesy of http://www.charityfocus.org/programs/qad/

The corporate version of a soldier's helmet...

...as in - you need it to feel safer, but when the fit really hits the shan it ain't gonna help much.

I love this...

>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Franz Richards
>> Sent: Friday, January 06, 2006 11:13 AM
>> To: E; Mat
>> Subject: Documentation
>>
>> Give some thought over the weekend how both of you can
>> document your work, so the other can cover the "basics"
>> when someone is out sick, vacation, etc. Thanks.


In case you can't read bossinese, that's "Um, we know we're screwing you enough that you're gonna bail soon, and we know we can't afford to lose you, so tell us how to do your job so we're not royally screwed when we throw this last straw on your back."

Aristotle

"All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind."

"She’s got nothing to say / She’s got bills to pay / She’s got no one to hate / Except for me" Seether

As if there hasn't been enough to post about unpaid bills lately...
http://tftcf.blogspot.com/2005/08/trouble-in-paradise.html
http://tftcf.blogspot.com/2005/12/got-everything-in-my-mama-name-but-im.html

The company uses a lot of freelancers to put together the catalog -- copywriters, designers, photogs, etc. Well, our in-house designer, Karen, has been taking a lot of angry calls lately from freelancers who are owed a lot of money. As in, most around $2k and one guy is due $18k. I don't know if you've ever freelanced before, but if you're living on freelancing income, and some lame-duck client owes you more than $500, it's a big deal.

So last week, Karen asks her boss, Rochelle, what the deal is and Rochelle tells her to sit tight, she's on the case. Friday rolls around and still no answer so Karen asks again. Rochelle talks to some of the higher-ups and comes back and tells Karen that there will be checks that day. So Karen is sated (her husband is one of the freelancers) and she shares the news with Viki, the freelancer who cames in once in a while to work on site, and who was there Friday. The end of the day comes, and still no checks. Karen asks Rochelle again, and after checking with those above, Rochelle tells her the checks were mailed.

Mailed.

Even-though-Karen-and-Vicki-are-in-the-building-and-could-take-them-directly.

That sound shady to anyone else? Long-story-short, it's Wednesday, and no checks have been received. Vicki is supposed to work on-site again tomorrow, but I think it's a safe bet that if she does come in, she's not going to be alone, and she's not going to plan to stay and work.

Did I mention Vicki is an ex-drag racer with an oversized mechanic husband with oversized mechanic friends?

I'm taking in extra popcorn tomorrow.

Lena Horne

"Always be smarter than the people who hire you. "

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Quote courtesy of http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_work.html

Raising the bar

Okay. So, part of the reason I took this job in the first place was that it was sold to me as having a lucrative and attainable incentive program that could add as much as $12k per year to my salary. Shortly after I came, I found out that the target numbers we had to reach in sales were not based on anything, they just pulled a number out of the air and made that the deal.

For example, say the most sales they had online in a month in 2004 was $250k. They would take that number and make it the base of the incentive plan for 2005 so that if you made it again, you wouldn't get any bonus until you exceeded it by quite a bit. Forget that the $250k month you had was in December and forget that was the only time you came within $100k of it -- that's your new base for the whole next year.

I thought I had expressed to my boss that I didn't find that even vaguely fair, I thought that we had an understanding and that we could be more reasonable this year. Then Franz dropped the proposal on E and I today. Let's say that Mike and I busted ass and actually managed to make the impossible goal 5 times in 2005, and 3 of those times we actually managed to make it all the way to the top tier of the bonus plan -- $350k.

So guess what. Guess what the proposed $0-bonus-level tier is this year. Take a wild stab at it. $350k. Yeah. A 40% increase to get to the $0 bonus level. Who does that? Who's boss came to them this year and said with a straight face, "We've decided you have to do no less than 40% better sales this year or we're going to cut your salary. We think its a lucrative and attainable goal." Don't even raise your hand. I know your lying.

Drew Carey

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

Auld Lang Syne, or SSDD

There are a few things you need to know as background for this.

First, instead (as you may assume) of orders coming in and automatically printing to our warehouse to be packed and shipped, our IT guys collect, process, and print out orders twice daily. Someone from the warehouse comes in and gets them and gets them shipped ASAP. When this process is done, credit cards are processed and we get money.

Second, a couple months back, our company switched to having some Indian/Pakistani/Malaysian/Whatthehellever firm handle orders after hours and on the weekends. We did this because it was cheaper than keeping the building operating all weekend and because shippers didn't pick up on Sunday and event he ones that picked up on Saturday didn't really ship until Monday anyway.

Third, if you're salaried, you get no overtime. You get no flex time. You get no compensation whatsoever for time spent working before 8 AM or after 5 PM. If you do it, you do it out of your own kindness or because you want to save yourself some grief the next time you do work.

Finally, we just concluded one of our best months ever. I can't tell you how well the catalog side did because I'm not party to their figures. However, I can tell you that the web side's best month in 2005 was January...until December beat it by 50%+.

Let me also explain the management theory of income around here. If you're behind your sales goal for the month (which was not based on anything other than a fanciful guess), you kick and beat your employees to pull in as much money as they can so you get as close as possible. If you're going to make your goal, you kick and beat your employees to pull in as much money as they can so you beat it by as much as possible. If you're going to exceed your goal, you kick and beat your employees to pull in as much money as they can because you're a greedy f'ing prick and you don't care if you burn our your whole staff by keeping them in crisis mode all the time. After all, there are whole agencies out there dedicated toward staffing your sweatshop, so why not take advantage of them?

So Bill decided that to celebrate this huge-income month, he was going to ban all vacation between December 26th and January 1, 2005 AND that the warehouse, customer service, and IT would all be asked (read: threatened with their jobs) to come in on December 31st. NOT ONLY THAT, but that IT would be processing orders -- not their usual twice daily, but -- at 8AM, noon, 2PM, 6PM, and...wait for it...hold on, this is a doozy...can you guess?...11PM! Last order processing at 11PM on New Year's Eve! AND, at that point the warehouse would have to pick, pack, and scan all 10 orders that might be coming in from that last processing.

Did I mention that the decision was made Wednesday, December 28th?

Knowing that we do almost no business after 8PM, New Year's Eve being no exception, what do you think the motivation was for this move? Squeezing every last dollar out of the year so it could be added to the bottom line.

Greed.

Now, I can deal with greed in business. It's not my style, but it makes sense that greed can help a business run. But let's break this down. Let's be generous and say we get to credit an extra $100k in sales to this year. That's roughly $40k in profit. Now you have to heat and power the building for an extra day. I have no idea what that costs, but lets say $200. Now, you have to have IT guys, a warehouse manager, and a customer service manager come in -- oh wait, we're not compensating them, never mind. Let's figure a skeleton crew of 6 customer service folks at $10/hour each - $900. Let's figure the same for warehouse people (it's probably more people, but less money) - $900. At least three VPs are going to come in. They're not going to do anything productive, but they'll be there to prove their loyalty to the company and at least give themselves one extra day off, which is like burning a day's salary for each - $1,700.

So, somewhere around 20 people and their families get their holiday ruined, you're not going to let them take off Monday the 2nd, despite the fact that the handbook says they're entitled to it (for no apparent reason, you just felt like mandating it), further lowering moral and increasing distrust of management, all to clear about $36k, which isn't more money you're making, just money you're stealing from next year while torching $3,700 in the process. That about the size of it? I hope it was worth it. When one of those people you railed comes in with a gun, it's going to be completely your own fault, and I'm going to laugh my ass off.