This is all about when a job goes wrong, when corporate America is left to run things with no responsibility whatsoever. Please feel free to comment and commiserate. I'm sure I'll be in need of a co-author to the book this just _has_ to become.

26 April 2006

Pins and Passwords

Greetings loyal readers,

Lou Madigan here for your entertainment. I would just like to first introduce myself as the man with all deep, dark, dirty secrets of Tyler Gifts. You see, for some reason, Bill Tyler took a very strong liking to me, and entrusted me with ALL of his personal, and company information. Seeing as though he's such a lazy bastard, and cannot do anything on his own, I was forced to memorize all pins and passwords to everything Tyler related. It will amuse you to know that though dearly departed, I still recall all of the access information to Tyler Gifts. You would think that any intelligent individual would make a great effort to change all pins and passwords, but intelligent individuals they are not. It's been nearly two months since the hell fires have spit me back out. I thought I may just try and see if I can still access the company information.

Not to my surprise...open sesame! E-mails and other fun things galore. Oh what great treasures shall these prying eyes find? We shall see...

19 April 2006

"Um...hello Mr. Pot. My name is Mr. Kettle"

More news from Tyler Gifts...

Apparently a memo went around recently announcing that the entire staff would soon be required to attend some kind of presentation about sexual harassment. Knowing that these guys would never do anything that costs money unless there was some sort of court order involved, I have to think somebody must have finally pressed some sort of charges.

But what would they ever have to claim?

Maybe the fact that Matt regularly makes comment about Carly's huge breasts without any concern about who might hear. Including Carly.

The fact that Franz threw a fit when IT dumped the trash file of his e-mail because that's where he keeps all is porn.

It's no secret that Matt takes regular business trips AND personal vacation time to go to Thailand to have sex with little boys.

So much to choose from. The question is, are they having the lecture to help clear their own guilty consciences or so that the rest of the staff can learn to harass like they do?

12 April 2006

The foundation is crumbling

More news from Tyler Gifts...

You may remember Vicki from a previous post. I received word today that she is no longer with the company because the powers that be continue to slow-pay their freelancers. Freelancers depend on the money they earn to come quickly so they can live, you morons! If you don't pay them, they can't stay - it just can't be done.

What amazes me is that Vicki was a freelancer who worked on making sure the catalogs got designed on time -- the catalog being the breead an butter of A CATALOG COMPANY. Maybe it's just me, but I always said that no matter how tight money got, I always paid two bills on time: my rent/mortgage, and my car. One is a basic necessity of life, the other takes you to work so you can make money so you can keep the house. Tyler has basically stopped making it's car payment.

Borrowed time, idiots. Borrowed time.

I love Karen, but I couldn't recommend her new freelancers in good conscience. I wish her luck, but at the same time, I hope they don't find anybody to fill Vicki's shoes. I can't think of anything better for the people there and the world in general than for that place to shut the hell down. Keep an eye on the deathclock. If they make it to zero, I'll be VERY surprised.