My way, your way, Amway! UPDATED: 10/12/05

So the job search isn't as fearful as it has been in the past. I posted a resume on careerbuilder.com to supplement the one I have at Monster.com. I've been getting a lot more leads from Careerbuilder than Monster, but I'm getting a lot more crap too. Since I think insurance is pretty much government-sanctioned, legalized crime, I loathe the insurance sales spam I get because of my Careerbuilder resume. This one almost pulled me in. Almost.

TO: Mat
RE: LIVE Corporate Overview Schedule

Dear Mat,

Thank you for filling out the form at http://www.CorporateOverview.com

We are hosting a live webcast later today. You can login to the webcast by going to: http://www.corporateoverview.com/index2.html

When you download the software (takes 7-seconds) it will give you the schedule of when the live webcast is being conducted. Please be prepared to spend 30-minutes with us. We will be going over all of the details on this project.

We look forward to discussing this project with you further,
Corporate Overview
http://www.CorporateOverview.com

So I went and took a look at the site figuring it wouldn't hurt to take a look if I only had to look online. But alas, their presentation only works on Windows, and I use a Mac at home, so either I view from work (which I am just an inch too ethical to do) or I don't see it. Besides, I'm a little suspicious, so I send a quick message back

From: Mat
Sent: Friday, October 07, 2005 8:03 AM
To: Executive Recruiter
Subject: Re: LIVE Corporate Overview Schedule

I have a mac at home, so it won't work. Besides, a company that recruits via webcast looks a bit shady anyway.

Thanks anyway

Short, to the point, has that "I don't feel like being messed with" kinda feel to it. But the “Executive Recruiter" doesn't take no for an answer.

Actually my team and I just barely started using the webcast
technology just like Microsoft. Is Microsoft or IBM shady because they
use webcast?

J.R.

Well, apparently I don't have the exclusive license on curt and cute that I thought I did. At least now the executive recruiter has a name, and I learn that I may have met my match in tenacity as well. Besides, who would dare question the virtuosity of Microsoft? Who would be so low as to question IBM? But I feel a little bad for maybe being too accusing originally, so I decide to be polite.

From: Mat
Sent: Friday, October 07, 2005 11:17 AM
To: jr@jrjackson.com
Subject: RE: LIVE Corporate Overview Schedule

The point is that it looks suspiciously like one of those deals where they say, "We're very interested in you, come to our informational meeting and become part of our team." So you take a day off work, drive an hour to someplace with high hopes, and then find out halfway through the meeting that they want you to be an Amway or insurance salesman and all you have to do is put up a small amount of money and they'll get you started right away. Those of us in the search are getting hammered by those types who come to us from Monster and CareerBuilder, so it pays to be overly-suspicious and err on the side of caution.

That being said, if your business is not like that, I apologize for insinuating the possibility. And the fact that you sent a personal response goes a long way to suggesting you are legit.

In the end, if I was to view your webcast from home, I'd have to do it on my Mac, and that won't work through your system, so it's just not to be this time, I guess. Good luck with your search. I hope you get the people you need.

Thanks for the opportunity.

Makes sense, right? Pleasant, but not really any more open
to continuing. But I get like three more invitations to the webmeeting
that I already said I couldn't watch. Then, the executive writes me
again (*sigh* So tenacious).

On 10/7/05 3:48 PM, "jr@jrjackson.com" jr@jrjackson.com wrote:

Mat I do understand where you are coming from. I remember when I was looking for a job I wasted a lot of time doing exactly what you just described. That is one reason we offer the presentation online so you can take 30-minutes and watch the entire information about our
business.

The project we want to talk with you about is identity theft and how you can help people.

J.R.

Damn it, J.R.! Your time-share sales tactics are so alluring, it takes every muscle to keep from allowing myself to be pulled into your glorious vortex of semi-legal commerce. I am Carrie-Ann to your Poltergeist...I cling to mommy's hand, but my feet hang in the air beside me as you draw
me into the light...I - can't - hold - on.

Oh, by the way, did I mention (twice) that I have a Mac and can't view your presentation. Yeah, that's still gonna be a problem. Not to mention that he hasn't named his company or tried to tell me what the hell they do yet. Who does that if they're legit? So I take a chance and do some super-secret spy-type stuff and take the name off of his e-mail address and get a gander at this: www.jrjackson.com

"No, no missa Mat, suh...we ain't no Amway or insurance scam, we's a wholesome PYRAMID SCHEME that aims ta sucker bof our employees and as many little old ladies as we can." AMWAY! I cry AMWAY!

Then, as if by divine kismet, I get this e-mail...

On 10/7/05 8:03 PM, "Professional Recruiters" CandidateEmail@site.careerbuilder.com
wrote:

Your resume caught our attention! -PH

A rare alliance has recently been formed between our 33
year old, New York Stock Exchange Company, Pre Paid Legal Services,
Inc. and the largest risk management and criminal investigation company
in the world, Kroll, for the roll out of a new and very comprehensive
Identity Theft Shield.

We are looking for entrepreneurial people for direct business-to-business
marketing as well as employee group marketing. In addition we are seeking
associates to build and train marketing teams.

Our associates are independent and work out of their homes.
They set their own hours, are paid immediatedaily advance commissions,
and can take advantage of numerous legitimate home based business tax
deductions, and can also develop an ongoing, residual income stream
for life. After a year associates can also qualify for a car bonus.

If you're up for the challenge to develop multiple streams
of income, full or part time, to secure your financial future, please
respond to this business opportunity immediately.

If you are interested in moving to the second phase, please
fill out the information form http://www.lspmarketing.com/application.htm
(please copy and paste link to access application on the web).

If we don't hear back from you, we do wish you the best in finding whatever
you are looking for.

Thank you.

We will not contact you again unless you contact us desiring more information about the opportunity of Pre-Paid Legal Services Inc.

Watch out Executive Recruiter! The Professional Recruiters
are coming this way, and they want me to sit on YOUR level of the pyramid.
So I attach it to his e-mail and give him a friendly warning.

From: Mat
Sent: Friday, October 07, 2005 6:17 PM
To: jr@jrjackson.com
Subject: Re: LIVE Corporate Overview Schedule

See, now that's funny. Cause apparently your company wants
me for your position...

JR wrote back, not understanding. I responded, "Did you notice
the attachment?" He said, "I don't open attachments." So I sent it to him
in the body of the e-mail and decided it was time I got to have a little
fun...

I hate to be the one to tell you, but it looks like your
bosses are trying to replace you. They don't mention why in there, but
I can't imagine they have a legitimate reason, so I'm thinking some
corporate-climber beneath you must be trying to get you ousted.

What do you think our next step should be? Should we ferret out this
climber and kill him, or do you think it would be better if I went to
an interview and exposed their web of deceit? We could wire me up and
you could listen in a van on the street, recording the whole thing,
and we could blackmail them by threatening to expose them on Larry King.
Think of it JR! We'd never have to work another day in our lives!

Let me know. I've got camo pants and boots that would be
perfect for either operation. In fact, we should probably refer to this
by a codename from now on in case someone intercepts our communications
(there's all kinds of hackers and identity thieves out there, you know
- somebody needs to do something about it). Let's call it "Operation:
Dallas" from now on.

We'll get 'em JR, don't you worry. Operation: Dallas has commenced!

UPDATE: 10/12/04

So time passed. I heard nothing from JR directly, though he continued to send me updated schedules for the Web meetings that I told him repeatedly I could not attend. And then today I get this:

From: "Deborah" <recruiter@corporateoverview.com>
To: Mat
Subject: I'm not sure if you rec'd the last email or not
Date: Wed, 12 Oct 2005 07:04:55 +0000

Mat, you had registered to attend one of our live web interviews. Here is the link to attend:

http://www.corporateoverview.com

If you had problems logging in you may go to

http://www.corporateoverview.com/errors.html

We have several live web interviews going on both today and tomorrow for your convenience...

And so on and so forth, same old schedule of the webcasts, but now from someone new.

Oh, Deborah, you were an innocent drawn into the fray.
But you're guilty by association, so now you must pay.

From: Mat
To: "Deborah" “recruiter@corporateoverview.com”
Subject: Re: I'm not sure if you rec'd the last email or not
Date: Wed, 12 Oct 2005 13:02:49 +0000

Deborah,

I have not heard from JR in too long. I am assuming the worst. Please relay this message to him for me if he should contact you, perhaps through a radio he steals from the body of a captor he overpowers or maybe from a carrier pigeon that lands by his cell that he befriends with crumbs of his lunch and the charm that surely helps him sell more Amway than any others trying to claw their way to the top of this mystical pyramid.

DEAR J.R.:
Please keep your spirits high, imprisoned comrade STOP
I am beginning Operation: Dallas in your absence STOP
Plan to infiltrate enemy headquarters with "wire" before they can break you STOP
Expect to be able to buy your freedom and negotiate a deal to put us both on easy street STOP
Hope Deborah can be trusted STOP
See you soon, Pooky XOXOXOX STOP

Bless you, Deborah, and Godspeed!

One last update to this. As JR seems to prey upon more people, the number of people coming here grows exponentially. I welcome your thoughts and comments, but since the comment section of this post is getting so long, I invite you to comment here. Let me know if you get eMail from other spam-scammers you want me to contact, I'm getting the itch to do this again. JR's been killer-good for my traffic, and he makes me laugh.