In Absentia or "I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet"

Yesterday I had to go to New York with Franz for a business meeting. I got to hear all the lines about we're all on the same team and how he feels the same way we do about the Bill & Rob and all that jazz. Honestly, if I had about 5 less knife wounds in my back from where he sacrificed me in meetings just for the sake of having someone to dominate, I might have considered his opinions.

I talked about my personal life a lot more with him than I would have otherwise, but there were three main reasons. First, uncomfortable silences, multiplied with the kind of disdain factor I carry for him could very well be terminal, so I babbled in an effort to alleviate all possibility of silence. Second, while I do intend to get fired from this place if I don't find another gig on my own before I go nuts, yesterday was not the day. And if he would have asked me certain questions about the company, I would have replied in a manner that would have meant we could no longer be seethingly courteous with one another. He would have, too, because he's the kind of guy that will say the worst (or in this case, most truthful) things about the higher-ups so that he can use them against you later. He's a climber, and climbers only have friends until the shit gets deep enough that they need to be used as stepping stones. Third, as happens in my family, discomfort can be just as lip-loosening as two beers and dimmed lighting. So I babbled. Meh, there are worse genetic traits -- complete lack of management skill, for example. And I can stop drinking any time, they'll still be morons (clinical definition).

So Mike got a free pass. For some reason they pretty much leave us alone when one is missing. It's odd -- when there are two of us doing the work of five, they'll jump all over us and distract at every opportunity, but when it's one picking up all the slack, that's finally enough overwhelmitude to treat us like we should be treated.

Anyway, his pass ran out at 3:00 when he had to attend a "webinar" (confrence-call seminar, supplemented with an online presentation) about web stuff in the conference room with Rod. Now, for those who haven't had the pleasure of a webinar, the panel that's presenting can talk amongst themselves and to the rest of the audience, but the audience can only listen in. Often they'll have a chat open on the computer at the same time so you can ask questions if you need to, but otherwise, it's a one-way deal. So Rod gets in the conference room after the whole deal starts and flumps down at the table. On the speaker they're going through introducing the panel. Rod taps foot and starts hyperventilating and says "Excuse me," obviously not talking to Mike. Mike smirks and waits, the lady doing introductions just keeps going. "Excuse me, this is Rod Tyler and I wonder if we can speed this up because I have a lot to do." The lady has kept talking the whole time and never acknowledged Rod.

"Rod," Mike says, actually laughing at him, "she can't hear you." Rod sits back in his chair, stares at a point on the wall somewhere over the computer, and doesn't move for the 45 minutes they're in there, like someone flipped a switch in the small of his back.

Now, as I've said before, I'm not a techno-snob so I don't laugh at him for not knowing he wasn't being heard. I laugh at him for:

1. Having enough of an ego to think someone outside of his industry might vaguely know or care who he is.
2. Being enough of a prick to start talking over the lady presenting and continue until he was finished, despite the fact that she had the conversational right-of-way and never stopped.

Number 2 I hate especially because I've seen him do it in meetings. He asks a question, lets you start and then turns to ask someone else something else before you can give him an answer. I'm sorry, but that's a bullying tactic used by weak people who know they can't really back up their own point, and the next time he tries to pull it on me, I'm going to be drawing unemployment within 48 hours, because what I will have to say will not be the kind of stuff you can "work through."